The Haifa Report
Well, here it is... the word from home!
(Don’t worry, it’s much shorter than the 9-page, 3400-word “Mammoth of Melbourne”...)
A Night at the Dome
I took advantage of the Melbourne interlude and went to see a footy game. The arena used to be called the Colonial Stadium, now renamed the Telstra Dome. It’s quite huge, especially considering that it’s not even Melbourne’s main sports venue - that would be the MCG, on the other side of town.
At the Dome, the North Melbourne Kangaroos were hosting the West Coast Eagles. I was a little worried that supporting the guests from Western Australia would get me strangled, but it turns out they have quite a few supporters in town, and things never got too messy even though West Coast won 101-97 in a close game that almost saw some anxious fans jumping off the third-story balcony...
The Kangaroos fans around me made sure that the folks on the pitch know what they’re thinking, by shouting ‘advice’ such as “ya wouldn’t have a clue!” (at the umpires) or “get up, ya mongrels!” (at the home team).
Despite all that, I was surprised at how quiet the game was, compared to watching sports on television. For one thing, there’s no Rafi Ginat shouting at the top of his bass voice with every pass, tackle, and kick. Second, when you’re at the stadium there’s no commentary, except for the improvised kind from people around you. Also, when you watch Aussie Rules on television there’s a 30-second commercial break after every goal. In the arena this translates to 30 seconds in which nothing much happens, and it looks as if everyone temporarily forgot what they’re supposed to be doing. They just walk around aimlessly for a while, until the gods of capitalism have been satisfied.
Culture Shock
There’s bound to be a bit of culture shock when you go back to the Mediterranean after five months in the Britosphere. Guess I should be thankful that the adjustment phase got off to an early start, back in Australia.
Which city has the world’s largest Greek population? Athens. And in second place? Melbourne. So on the Melbourne-Singapore-Athens flights, there was a substantial proportion of Greeks. The first sign that we’re not in Kansas anymore came with the initial boarding call for the flight to Singapore. As soon as the ground staff got on the microphone, 95% of passengers swarmed towards the doorway. Never mind that it’s a 747 aircraft and the call was only for passengers in rows 49 to 62, and the human tidal wave only delayed everyone’s departure. Later there came a string of Mediterranean hallmarks such as loud conversation, lots of touching, clapping and cheering as the plane touched down, and smoking everywhere (despite the posters and public announcements forbidding it). By the time I arrived in Israel, I was ready for our own little additions, such as the constant security checks and the cellphone obsession.
Now, none of it is all that terrible, but neither did it make my “What I Miss About Home” list...
The Curse
I’ve been telling people that Israel is quite safe to visit. So it was embarrassing, as well as sad, to have a suicide bombing in Netanya on the very day I got back. It seems like much of the relative calm they’ve had here during the past 6 months just evaporated on the week of my homecoming...
Perhaps the writing’s on the wall - I’ve heard that some people are already raising money to ship me back to the other side of the planet, in the interest of world peace. Good luck, guys.
But at least things aren’t as bad as in London...
What’s Next?
Is this really happening? For the first time in about 23 years, there’s not much “what’s next”. All those years were punctuated by things like school vacations, end-of-semesters, graduations, trips abroad, and all sorts of significant dates and transitions to look forward to. For the moment, my nearest future plan with a date attached is retirement, somewhere around the year 2044.
Surely, life will soon be neatly subdivided again with all sorts of deadlines and transitions and cut-off dates, but for the moment it’s fun to just be. And we’re still young enough to be able to imagine it going on forever. (Gosh! This is bad. Let’s move on before it gets any more corny)
To Do List
- Meet with family and friends (mostly done)
- Wash up and stow away sleeping bags, backpacks, winter gear, etc. Annoy downstairs neighbours by hanging it out to drip-dry directly above their underwear (done)
- Go back to work (done...)
- Pay overdue bills with interest and late fees (done, I hope)
- Distribute gifts and souvenirs (in progress)
- Pick the best photos and make an album + slide show + enlargements + website + ... (started, unlikely to ever finish)
- Start planning the next big trip. Avoid discussing plans with boss, even as a joke - boss might freak out (oops)
- Finish this email and go to sleep (gone!)
Yalla Bye,
- Ron